Annick has the life she wanted. She is again in a relationship and is the mother of two children. On the professional side, the astrologer whom she became late at age 31, evolves as a personal development coach, radio and television columnist and is also, in her spare time, actress. A calm river where serenity should have been queen in his kingdom. But it would have been too simple. Annick took a long time to find her way. Lack of self-confidence, of course, but because since childhood, she has been carrying the bruises of abandonment.
Annick is a skinned skinny who has the trauma of suffering from emotional loss. From the first day of his birth, his mother, more a mother than a mother, was « cold, distant and indifferent ». A rejection that will be branded and that will burn it all its life. Because in her little girl’s head, if her mom rejects her, it is to get rid of her because she does not like him. Annick is, however, a wise, smiling, polite child and first in school. So why ?
Falling down the stairs, broken nose and leg, appendicitis, nothing helps. Her mother does not hear the distress signals sent to her by her daughter who say to her: « Take care of me Mom! » And for good reason. Annick is in his eyes “a naughty, killer and ugly child. »
Gradually, Annick is resigned. Her lack of maternal love is fulfilled in her father’s arms or by her grandmother Lucie. Her grandma likes it and shows it to her. It calms his discomfort without making it disappear. And it is not the arrival of his little sister who will help him. Also, when her cross is too heavy to carry, Annick swaps her troubles with words. She takes refuge in a bubble made of writing, reading and music. But that is not enough. The teenager needs to be interested in her, for others to notice her, look at her and love her. The shy child turns out of wit and becomes cheeky. Bad dating, sex, alcohol. She flirts with danger. Luckily, his natural survival instinct will keep him from reaching the point of no return.
So she capitulates. To please her parents even though she dreams only of theater, Annick turns to a tidy and well-regulated life, in which she plays the model wife and the exemplary mother. « I know that I am not in MY life but in the life that my parents wanted for me. And thanks to this life, mom is closer to me, she supports me, she advises me for my baby, she is a caring grandmother, much more caring than in her role as mother and that makes me happy. « ; a role she held for seven years. Divorced, she searches for herself and gets lost again until she becomes a battered woman. It will take a more violent blow than the others to take her to the emergency room for her to regain control. Thanks to a friend she will make a decisive meeting, which will allow her to find her way; that of astrology. Learning this discipline brings it back from the ashes.
Her experiences, her disappointments, her trials, her galleys, her mistakes, her bad choices, her failures, her disappointments, this chimera after which she clings, were not right with her. On the contrary, they made it stronger. His lack of affection is a second skin, but at the dawn of his 60s, his life finally smiles.
« The wheel is still spinning, keep hope », by Annick Astro. A story as a deliverance, a cry of love, a placebo to fill an emotional gap. A testimony by which she tells herself in all humility to make this childhood injury, this fragility a force to build herself better. Don’t we say that what does not kill makes us stronger? – At Librinova editions –
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